About Me
- Shannon
- I'm a slightly mad pagan trucker with an unhealthy obsession with yarn.
Showing posts with label truck. Show all posts
Showing posts with label truck. Show all posts
Friday, January 8, 2010
Shannon's Rules For Winter Driving
8:21 PM | 
Posted by
Shannon
Well, it's that time of year again. The snow's a flying, the winds are blowing & the idiots are out in force. So I thought I would pass on a couple of tips for safe winter driving. Actually these can be applied all year round.
Tip #1 - Take your head out of your ass.
When I say take your head out of your ass, I mean take your head out of your ass. Not just part of the way or have that nifty new window installed in your stomach, but do a complete cranial rectal extraction. Pay attention to who & what is around you. Take your phone away from your ear & get your slow ass out of the middle lane. Stop digging around on the floor for that elusive Engelbert Humperdink CD & fucking pay attention.
Tip #2 - Don't drive skeered.
Now we all have had those white nuckle moments, that feeling of, "Oh SHIT!!". But the thing to remember is when your skeered you are more likely to make panicky, unsafe moves. This is not a good thing on an ice & snow covered road. I'm not saying don't respect Mother Nature & all her squirrelly wrath but if you're afraid to be on the road, do the rest of us a favor & park it.
Tip #3 - Get the fuck away from me.
No, seriously. GET. THE. FUCK. AWAY. I don't know what it is about some drivers but when the weather gets shitty they all want to ride in one big panicky group. Personally, I want as much space between me & your dumbass as possible. If you come flying up behind me, pass me. If I come up on you, don't jump out there & cut me off, because I'm liable to give you a good CB ass kicking for being an ignorant fucktard. So for your safety & my mental health, STAY AWAY.
So there you have it fuckeritos y fuckeritas (these are my new favorite words), 3 simple tips for safe winter driving. This probably isn't what you were expecting, but get over it already.
Labels: crochet, yarn
Sunday, November 1, 2009
A visit from Bob
I know some of you will probably think I've finally gone off the deep end after reading this but going with the spirit of the season, I thought I would share with you my own ghost story.
It all started about 8 years ago. I was doing the thing that all drivers hate, changing trucks. At first I just thought my CD player was being temperamental. It would play a few songs & then spit the CD out, & didn't think much about it.
After a couple days I noticed I was waking up to the same dream. I would dream that someone was knocking on the door of my truck & as I got up to see who it was, all I would see was an older man wearing overalls & a baseball cap walking away, giving me a backwards wave. Then I would wake up about 5 minutes before my alarm would go off. This went on for about a week until I got back to the yard. I had a conversation with the Rick, the shop foreman, that went something like this...
Me: "Hey Rick, did someone die in this truck I've got?"
Rick: *funny look* "Why, did someone say something to you?"
Me: "No. I've just been having a weird, recurring dream."
Rick: "Uhhhh, yeah. You're not the first one to mention that. Actually a driver did die in that truck about a year ago."
Me: "Was he an older guy that liked to wear bibbed overalls & baseball caps?"
Rick: *turns even whiter* "Uhhh, yeah. How did you know?"
Me: "Well, that's the guy I keep seeing in my dreams."
We talked for a bit more & he told me his name was Bob & that he had passed away from a heart attack. After I found out who he was he didn't visit quite as often but he would still make an appearance a couple of times a week. But when he did, I realized that he was the one responsible for my "malfunctioning" CD player. I had noticed that if it was country music or classic rock, all would be well but if I put in anything heavier, after about 3 songs it would eject.
After a few months I had to change trucks again. I was kind of sad to leave Bob behind but soon realized he was not. He still makes an appearance from time to time, letting me know he's still there keeping an eye on me. He still doesn't like heavy metal though & the occasional slap to the back of the head can be annoying at times (I get these when he thinks I've pushed myself too hard), it's nice to know that after all these years he still visits.
It all started about 8 years ago. I was doing the thing that all drivers hate, changing trucks. At first I just thought my CD player was being temperamental. It would play a few songs & then spit the CD out, & didn't think much about it.
After a couple days I noticed I was waking up to the same dream. I would dream that someone was knocking on the door of my truck & as I got up to see who it was, all I would see was an older man wearing overalls & a baseball cap walking away, giving me a backwards wave. Then I would wake up about 5 minutes before my alarm would go off. This went on for about a week until I got back to the yard. I had a conversation with the Rick, the shop foreman, that went something like this...
Me: "Hey Rick, did someone die in this truck I've got?"
Rick: *funny look* "Why, did someone say something to you?"
Me: "No. I've just been having a weird, recurring dream."
Rick: "Uhhhh, yeah. You're not the first one to mention that. Actually a driver did die in that truck about a year ago."
Me: "Was he an older guy that liked to wear bibbed overalls & baseball caps?"
Rick: *turns even whiter* "Uhhh, yeah. How did you know?"
Me: "Well, that's the guy I keep seeing in my dreams."
We talked for a bit more & he told me his name was Bob & that he had passed away from a heart attack. After I found out who he was he didn't visit quite as often but he would still make an appearance a couple of times a week. But when he did, I realized that he was the one responsible for my "malfunctioning" CD player. I had noticed that if it was country music or classic rock, all would be well but if I put in anything heavier, after about 3 songs it would eject.
After a few months I had to change trucks again. I was kind of sad to leave Bob behind but soon realized he was not. He still makes an appearance from time to time, letting me know he's still there keeping an eye on me. He still doesn't like heavy metal though & the occasional slap to the back of the head can be annoying at times (I get these when he thinks I've pushed myself too hard), it's nice to know that after all these years he still visits.
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