One Hookers Ramblings

I think this may become a regular kinda thing.  As many of you know, I'm a sarcastic, bitchy smart ass.  My witticisms aren't limited to just my friends, I've been known to just let them fly.  Lots of times at inappropriate times.  I mean a lot.  Maybe even alot.

This particular tale takes place about 2001 when I was just a mere greenhorn of a truck driver.  I got pulled over for speeding & passing in the third lane, which in NC is a big no, no. After the inspection the officer & I were having a little chat.

Trooper:  Do you have any explanation for why you were doing 75 in a 65 & in the 3rd lane?

Me: *scuffs ground* Well, actually I do.

Trooper: Oh really.  I gotta hear this.

Me:  Last week I was abducted by aliens & they implanted this thing in my brain & sometimes it malfunctions.

Trooper: *fighting the giggles*  What causes it to malfunction?

Me:  Lack of caffeine.  Because you know even alien technology isn't perfect.

Trooper: *no longer trying to hold laughter in*  You know, I've been a trooper for 10 years and I can honestly say that's the first time anyone has used alien abduction as an excuse for speeding.  Today is your lucky day, you get points for creativity.

In the end all I got was a ticket for not wearing my seat belt.  Mom always said my smart mouth would get me  nowhere.  She was wrong.

So stay tuned for further tales of Me & My Smart Mouth. :)